Monthly Archives: September 2012

My Secret Place

I’m lucky enough to have a job that allows me to get up and just disappear when things get tough. I don’t vanish for hours and hours and I certainly don’t hide to have a nap. Sometimes it only takes five or ten minutes away from it all to get my head together and get back on track.

Somehow I discovered just the place to make this all happen and for a long time I didn’t understand why it worked for me. Just outside the back door of the building where I work, there is a little grassy patch that has been invaded by clover. It’s not a glamorous place. It’s probably about a three feet by three feet patch of grass between the sidewalk and the building that overlooks a parking lot. The electrical meter hangs on the brick wall just above it but that particular area is not viewable from any window in the building and even though the roar of the traffic from a busy highway is undeniable, it’s still very tranquil for me.

Now and then, like today, I’ll take a walk to my secret spot, kick off my Pay-Less shoes and sink my toes into that bed of clover. It just does something to me. I can’t explain it. Just a few minutes of tromping through clover and breathing in and out settles my nerves and helps me get focused.

cloverI didn’t know why it worked, but it did. So, when things got rough, I would just go out there and hold my little ritual without questioning it. Then a few months ago, a childhood friend sent this picture to me and it all made sense. She and I had grown up next door to one another and with her parents still living in the same place, it was convenient for her to buy the house I grew up in. She sent this picture of the clover that grows in what is now her front yard. It’s the same patch that she and I sat in as children and just did all those kid things that you do on long, lazy summer days. Funny how you don’t consciously remember things like that but your mind and body never forget.

The weather is beginning to cool and soon it will be too cold to expose my toes to the elements. Now, instead of having to cope with the day to day grind without my clover, I’ll just set this picture as my PC wallpaper and remember those days so many years ago with my friend when neither of us had a care in the world.


“Sandy” As Cheap Entertainment

I think most people from time to time wish they could lock themselves in the house and never have to deal with other people again. I’d like to think that would make me feel better and lower my stress level considerably. We all know that is not very realistic. We still have to make money to buy the necessities in life and to pay for that roof and four walls we’ve surrounded ourselves with. Besides, I don’t think it would take very long before those walls started to close in on me and cabin fever would set in. My stress level would probably double at that point and totally defeat the purpose.

Normally, I tend to think this way when someone or just general circumstances in life become hard to deal with. I have recently found myself feeling just the opposite. Lately, I have had a “difficult person” in my life but instead of wanting to just stay away, I find myself wanting to be around more and more. It has become a form of entertainment for me.

This person, we’ll call them…oh, I don’t know…. “Sandy”….like the squirrel from the Sponge Bob Squarepants cartoon, because that is what happens to be on my son’s television at the moment.

Like the cartoon Sandy, this one is actually very intelligent and capable of doing what needs to be done and figuring out how to deal with more than your average day to day problems. The thing is, this Sandy loves to manipulate people, lie when it isn’t necessary and keep drama rolling at all times. All Sandy’s energy and brain power is devoted to these things rather than just simply taking care of the everyday tasks and solving normal daily problems. I’m sure it’s all very exhausting.

I’ve learned that there are very simple rules in dealing with people like Sandy. First you have to keep your nose clean and make sure you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. Cross all your  T’s and dot all your I’s and by all means, re-check yourself often. Second, watch your back every second of the day. Never just assume that everything will be okay because people like Sandy can strike when you least expect it. Finally, the third rule is to be sure to give them plenty of rope with which to hang themselves. Then sit back and watch the show. All this checking and re-checking and watching your own back, does take a little extra energy, but it is necessary and the payoff is usually worth it all.

The Sandy’s of the world are a very interesting breed to observe. They seem completely oblivious to the tangled mess they make of their own lives in the process of deliberately trying to hurt someone else. They usually believe that they are winning the “game” until the very second before their whole charade is finally exposed.

If you happen to be the target of their deceit, take it as a compliment because they only attack people that they see as a threat in some way. Maybe they think you are smarter or more capable of something that they want for themselves. Maybe they envy you in some way. Sometimes they just want to get rid of anyone intelligent enough to see through their lies.

So, instead of Sandy making me want to turn into a complete hermit, she has accomplished just the opposite. I am beginning to very much enjoy the show. Who doesn’t like seeing justice served?

%d bloggers like this: